Time for new shorts

It's time for new shorts when...
1) your title sponsor drops out...
Or
2) ...your answer is "yes"...words of wisdom from ZsaZsa...
Ask me. I'll tell you. A lot of you people ask me the same darn question. "Hon, how long can I wear my favorite cycling shorts? When is it time to buy a new pair?" Well, now, I'm no medical person so I won't even pretend to know what sorts of wildlife might start breeding inside that lycra after even one days usage. So I can't council you on that. And I don't know squat about the effects of all that pressure on your nicety-nicies down there once the shammy's all used up and dead. And if I was into fashion, which, again, I ain't, I might say "Sweets, you done worn them shorts one butt time too many." And if I had my way no man's parcel would be cooped up in such a highly protrudinashus manner. No siree. But you ask me, so I feel obliged to tell you. I say any time is a good, fine time to take the clippers to those shiny little black diapers you all like to squeeze your behinds into. But somehow my intuition tells me that's not quite the answer you're after. Okay then listen up, now, because I'm tired of repeating myself. Here's what you need to do. Put the dang things on. Go find yourself a mirror (or a person who don't lie) and some good strong sunlight. Now bend over and ask yourself, or your friend: "Can you see crack?" There's your answer. Until next time, don't spit in the wind.