Therapy

If I had a therapist, and we had a session today, it would go like this.

I would have spent my $200/hr or whatever the going rate is talking about why I want Jan Ullrich to win the Tour de France. Not that I don't have other issues, but this is just more interesting. What's the big deal? I guess I feel comfortable with Jan. I feel like I saw him grow up. I saw him go through the good and the bad, the high and the low times. I remember him passing up the Olympics so he could ride the 1996 Tour. The Tour or the Olys, Jan choose the tour.

At first I didn't really have a great association with him when he was just an early 20 something super stud. The next year 1997, I thought he was a disloyal upstart "stealing" the glory and Tour from his captain. I remember Jan riding back to his team car before he attacked. What a cocky dude. In 1998, I have to admit feeling the excitement as Jan lost over 9 minutes in the pouring rain. I remember his puffy eyes, and I remember the next day as he rode to victory on the following stage. He could have quit but he didn't. I was happy with the Pantani Tour that year, but Jan showed he could still race even if he wasn't going to win. Bobby Jullich finished third to Jan's second and Pantini's first. Bobby said it was the beginning of many years for him and Jan in the Tour. Ironic....

Then came Jan's ecstasy year, the knee problem, and finally the Lance period. Jan had become the underdog.

Each year after 1999, I rooted for Jan. I felt he could win, and I believed he would. He never did. I felt let down, but I still rooted for him. Not that I was rooting against Lance; I truly wanted Jan to find the glory days, again. 2nd wasn't anything to feel ashamed about, but still .....

Over the years, Jan has had a gold medal in the Olympics and several world championship time trial gold medals. A Vuelta victory, a few German road championships, and again never less than 4th in the Tour. Why do I feel a compulsion for the underdog? With Jan's palmares, he's not really an underdog, he just didn't win the Tour. Why does it feel like I am rooting for an underdog. Maybe, it's the whole American thing. Maybe, I feel guilt about being an American and having most everything go "our" way in the world as well as in the Tour. (Thank god for soccer.) I don't know. I like dynasties as much as the next person. It just needs to be done in a way that I feel comfortable with. Americans imposing their culture and values, not honoring the tradition of whatever it happens to be is not in my comfort zone. Americans with access to unlimited money to buy the best is just so....American. **

I guess Jan could do the same. A German I met said he didn't like Jan because Jan was rich and didn't train. He thought Jan was lazy. Who knows, maybe he is? But to me, Jan represents more. He is more than just the underdog. I root for Jan because he is not an American weilding dominance, power, influence, and the "American Way". Jan is not always the winner but that doesn't make him stop. Perhaps "The Kaiser" (and don't you hate that nickname) really represents the average American believing in the future, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and hoping for a better finish if he just tries hard enough? I'm not sure what it is exactly, but there is something, and it's more than just the Tour de France. Ok, session over.

**(Disclaimer: Wide generalizations in this post. I do like Americans, some of my best friends are Americans.)