what keeps me up at night

I could write this long post about how lousy I feel and complain about how I am stressing out over my training. Needless to say, my RA is acting up, and it makes me nervous. I think about how hobbled over some people are and how they just sit in the house and look out the window. I remember my aunt’s disfigured fingers and her scribbly handwriting. My fingers aren’t all knotted up yet, but my writing sure looks awful. It’s a bit embarrassing, but at this point I don’t really care. Thank goodness for computers.

I am a fretter. I could fret about where I’ll be in ten or fifteen years, and how abled/disabled I’ll be. But, that is just future tripping, and it doesn’t do a lot of good. One time, I fretted about our airplane seats. I spent days thinking about our seats and trying to get better ones on the aisle. After a few weeks, we had the perfect seats. I was so happy. A ten+ hour flight, and we had pretty good seats. However, when we got to the airport, we found out that our flight had been cancelled, and we were scheduled for a completely different plane with completely different seats. So much for all that fretting.

In a small way, I try and take this story to heart every day that I feel bad, can’t ride my bike, can’t put my hair in a stupid little pony tail, or start worrying about what will start hurting next. I realize that maybe I will feel worse, maybe I’ll have to stop racing because I can’t train hard enough not to get dropped by everybody and their mother. But, I know that worrying, fretting, feeling sorry for myself, and being cranky to my dear ZsaZsa won’t make anything better.

So, I try to remind myself of how it was the day at the airport and how after anticipating good seats, after fretting about them for so long and all the future tripping, it was all for nothing. Events in life can change so quickly regardless of your efforts. I try to stay thankful and appreciate the good of the moment. I try to remind myself of all the wonderful things that I’ve experienced, all the supportive people that I know, my best kitties, and of course my dear loving partner who wants me to share more about how I feel. I try to enjoy each day for what it is and what I have. What I have is a lot. But sometimes, actually a lot of times, I just want more. So instead of writing about what I want to be different, what I worry about, and what keeps me up at night, I’ll post this video. This is a new thing that has started to keep me and ZsaZsa up at night. But, this is a good thing. And, I will try and remember to be thankful for the good things in life since I do believe there is a lot of good out there. It's just a matter of perspective.

beautiful day in the park...

Yesterday was a lovely day in SF's Golden Gate park. The sun was out, the waves were perfectly formed, and a lovely day was had by all.

Today was a different story. Some members of our family were content to nap again...all day.

Others decided a cross race in Golden Gate Park was a better way to spend the day. Short story is that Marscat didn't survive the race and now is packed in ice. I don't think my trying to distract her from the pain has worked. Encouraging her to drink half a bottle of wine has only made her feel sick and queasy. Hopefully, her hip just has a deep bruise, and she'll be up and running tomorrow...just like Shelly and the rest of the gang.

someone blogged and dinner got cold

...but, honey, I was exercising the cats....

cat nap time = lazy time

Interesting week that I have had.
Went to jury duty two days in a row. Thursday, 2nd day of jury duty, my truck wouldn't start. The battery was dead. I got to jury duty, and the batteries in my less than often used hearing aids were dead. I came home and put the alarm "on" on my truck. The car alarm remote battery went dead. I couldn't disarm the truck alarm. Ok, three batteries in one day, weird. Friday, I went to start my work truck, guess what? Yes, 4th dead battery in less than 24 hours.

The other day, I was woken up from my afternoon nap by someone snoring...loudly. No, it wasn't this one...



It was this one. Yes, kitty snoring. Actually, Minnie's snores are pretty loud and constant, once he gets going. But, I don't mind since they are very cute sounds. And no, the other doesn't snore but does make cute little sleepy sounds.



Today is Saturday, and I am supposed to go on a hilly Mt. Diablo ride. But, the weather is not really great. It is sort of impending rain, damp, and wet. Since I don't feel like riding, and it's not wet enough outside to cancel my ride, I feel pretty guilty and lazy. Maybe, I'll just pretend that I am saving myself for picture taking at tomorrow's surf city and join the others in a full on nap fest.

KITTY CROSS

They have been practicing...
but one of them still doesn't get it.